


southern romantics

by Marshmellow (orphan_account)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Minor League Baseball, Misunderstandings, Mostly Fluff, Niall and Harry are mascots, Really Light Angst, a little bit, can you tell I love San Antonio yet?, copious amounts of references to San Antonio, dont take this seriously at all, san antonio, sports announcers, texans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-23 03:54:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3753520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Marshmellow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis Tomlinson and Liam Payne are the announcers at Wolff Stadium, home of the San Antonio Missions. But more importantly, Liam has a crush on their best friend and shortstop, Zayn Malik. Louis pretends he has everything together. Niall just wants everyone to get along. </p><p>Featuring Sam Smith as the cutie catcher who everyone loves, broody Zayn, and distraught Liam Payne who wishes he worked in different conditions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	southern romantics

**Author's Note:**

> My ode to San Antonio, the best city in the entire world.
> 
> This is a pretty standard fic, not really too complicated. I'm considering doing a series of it, but as of now it's just a short one shot I got stuck in my head and wanted to get out.
> 
> Henry the Puffy Taco and Ballapeno are real. Please believe me. GO MISSIONS! 
> 
> (disclaimer: I lived in San Antonio for four years when I was younger...so like in early 2000s. If any of these references are outdated, that's why)  
> (but Taco Cabana still rocks)
> 
> Heads up: San Antonians don't generally have 'southern accents' in my experience, but that's irrelevant bc I just imagined them speaking in their normal accents. I have no imagination. I don't blame you if you want to do what I did and pretend they grew up on Texas, but still have British/Irish accents.

“ _Weeeeel_ -come all to Wolff Stadium on this beautiful, yet dreadfully humid, April evening. We are excited to have you all back for another season of the beautiful game in this beautiful city. Announcing this evening’s game is the darling dreamboat Louis Tomlinson and the equivalent to the child you wish you left at home, Liam Payne.”

Liam sighs. “Thank you, Louis. Let’s bring out the line-up for the visiting team tonight. Please welcome the Tulsa Drillers!”

Awkward, half-hearted applause fills the stadium as Liam lists off the names of the starting line-up. It’s always their least favorite part of the game, so of course Louis makes Liam do it every time. He would feel bad, but he doesn’t. Louis does, however, step in to announce the home team line up. Every single time. Liam sighs a lot.

“And now...give it up for your team...the San Antonio Missions!” Louis grins cheekily as the crowd gets pumped. Liam rolls his eyes. It isn’t that hard to pump up a crowd when you’re announcing their team. Fuck Louis, honestly. If he wasn’t so damn good at it, he’d fight for his right to do the line-up. Louis is unfortunately good at his job.

“On first base, we have the sensational Olly Murs! On second, the saucy Ed Sheeran! Third base, we have the secretive Greg James-”

“What does that even me-”

“Shortstop! The beautiful and mysterious man of all your dreams, and one of my nearest and dearest, Zayn Malik!” Louis looks suggestively at Liam, who pretends he’s not paying attention. “Right outfield, give it up for the elusive Luke Hemmings! Centerfield, let’s hear it for the _out_ rageous Andy Samuels! Get it, outfielder? Outrageous?” There’s a surprising amount of laughter at that. Henry the Puffy Taco gives a thumbs up from the field. 

“It’s terrifying to me how much Harry is rubbing off on you.” Liam says dejectedly. Anyone would be dejected if they were subject to these types of jokes for hours at time. Ever since Louis and Harry met, Louis has only gotten more insufferable. Liam pretended to hate it.

Smugly, Louis carries on. “Left outfield, the sexy Josh Devine!”

“Louis there are children!”

“Shh, Liam, I’m trying to announce here...let’s see, oh, right...I guess applaud for pitcher Nick Grimshaw, if that’s what you’re into.” Nick gets a thunderous applause either way, so Louis really doesn’t feel bad about it. “And finally, our adorable new and very shy catcher, Sam Smith. Be sure to ask for his autograph after the game, kids. You’ll want it!” Liam is proud of Louis at times like these because Sam had been nervous leading up to his first game and he actually looks somewhat calmer now. Not that Sam didn’t have it together...in fact, Liam was surprised at how calm Sam was. Liam doesn’t ever really know what to think.

“Singing the National Anthem, please welcome Ms. Jade Thirlwall!”

Jade is somewhat of a local celebrity. She’s been singing around the city since she was fifteen. She’s well on her way to a record deal, but she wants to finish college first. She and her friends are planning to move to Nashville in the summer. Liam only knows all of this information because Niall is fucking obsessed with her and has drunkenly cried about it more times than Liam is comfortable with. Which is a lot because Liam is a drunk crier himselef.

Jade sounds amazing, of course. Liam would totally be in love with her as well if he wasn’t so...preoccupied with someone else. He spots Zayn in the line of players. Too damn beautiful.

“Let’s get this party started.” Louis pinches Liam’s cheeks before returning to his mic.

“Play ball!” They cheer at the same time. Baseball season has officially begun.

 

During the seventh inning stretch, after a chosen kid beats Henry the Puffy Taco in the traditional race and proceeds to literally kick him while he’s down, Ballapeno and Henry the Puffy Taco have a brawl. The fact that Liam and Louis know Niall and Harry are the idiots inside the mascot uniforms only makes it more entertaining to watch. Ballapeno pushes Henry the Puffy Taco around roughly before running off into the stands, away from his furious fellow mascot.

See, Ballapeno is a jealous fucker. He constantly wants to outshine Henry the Puffy Taco, who is an old fan favorite. Because of his increasingly hilarious attempts to one up Henry, he’s gaining his own fanbase. Even the guys from Corpus Christi have a laugh over it when they play.

“I see Ballapeno laughing in his corner over there. He looks mighty mad.” Louis says seriously.

“Henry better watch out. There’s about to be a San Antonio style throwdown here.”

“I guess we’ll find out what Liam means by that when it happens.”

Liam tries not to sigh too much, but he can’t help it. He works in unbelievable conditions. Instead, he focuses on the field where Ballapeno is salsa dancing with a young woman wearing a hat that claims it’s her birthday. Henry the Puffy Taco shakes his...lettuce at that and responds by pulling Sam out of the dugout and doing an elaborate and yet clumsy waltz. Sam is deep red by the end of it, but laughing all the same. The crowd absolutely digs it, and Louis is embarrassingly proud to be Henry the Puffy Taco’s best friend.

“Sorry, Ballapeno, I have to give this round to Henry. Sam has never looked more endeared.”

“Louis, sounds like you’re pretty endeared yourself.”

“What can I say, I love Puffy Tacos.”

 

They always go for drinks after night games. Well, when they can. Zayn usually doesn’t join them because he likes to bond with his team, which makes Liam pretty low-key sad, but Louis is good at distracting him.

“I like this whole mascot rivalry thing going on.” Louis says as he sips at his beer. “Harry, it was real great of you to get Sam involved. We’ve got to take care of that one. He’s like my child.”

“He’s pretty much the same age as you, Louis.” Niall says. Louis shrugs.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t be a father to that man.”

Liam doesn’t sigh. He swears. “Zayn played a great game today, don’t you think?”

Everyone at the table groans.

“Here we go again.” Niall hits the table dramatically with his fist and begins a somewhat accurate impression of Liam. “ _‘Zayn is so beautiful, Zayn played a great game, Zayn is my soulmate, Zayn probably has a big giant dick-’_ ”

“Are you being Liam or is this just you? Because it sounds like you actually think these things yourself.” Harry says. Louis laughs embarrassingly hard.

“Plus, you’ve probably seen his dick before since you live together. Care to give Liam the rundown?”

“Fuck off.”

“Yeah, we know Niall’s been planning his and Jade’s wedding since last season.” Liam says, desperate to get the attention off him. It’s not like it’s his fault Zayn is a sex panther. God, Liam needs to stop watching Animal Planet.

“I don’t plan weddings, I imagine weddings.” Niall says.

“I really don’t see how that’s any better.” Louis steals one of Harry’s fries, ignoring the slow ‘heeey’ he gets in return. “At least Liam’s just planning a night of passion. You’re going long term. That’s even more embarrassing.”

“I think it’s romantic.” Harry grumbles. Louis pats his head.

“Oh Harry…of course you do.” Louis takes another fry. Harry pouts. “When I’m the best man at your wedding, I’ll be sure to mention how adorably naive you were at twenty-three.”

Harry pouts some more. “Who says you’ll be the best man?” He mumbles at his plate.

“Well, I better be. I’m the one who has to live with your sorry ass, I better get to tell everyone at your wedding how you sleepwalk naked into the kitchen every other night.”

Liam and Niall laugh, but Harry just smiles a little. Louis doesn’t like that smile. It means he misstepped somewhere along the way in this conversation, but he can’t tell when.

“Anyway…” Harry says, checking his phone. “I promised Sam I would have breakfast with him tomorrow morning. I better go get some sleep.”

It was only eleven. Usually they stayed at the bar until at least midnight. Something really was up.

“Alright, Haz, I’ll walk with you.” It isn’t a far walk, plus they live together so it just makes more sense for them to walk home together, Louis reasons. Before Harry can reply, Liam jumps in.

“Actually, Louis, Niall and I wanted to talk about something with you…” Liam shifts nervously. “About, uhm, baseball.”

It’s by far the weakest excuse Louis has ever heard, but he lets it slide because of how shady the whole situation is. Liam tries to look as innocent as possible, but he’s fidgeting and Niall looks really disinterested. Too disinterested. He says goodbye to Harry and watches as he walks out, feeling increasingly uneasy about this whole situation.

“Okay, what the fuck was that about?” Louis asks.

“You know Harry’s gay right?” Liam shifts around again.

Louis is pretty sure the whole city of San Antonio knows Harry’s gay at this point. Surprisingly, it’s not a huge deal. “Yeah?”

“Okay.” Niall sighs, clearly annoyed. “You’re not so straight.”

“I also know that.” Louis says slowly. “Both boobs and dicks are things I lick.” He chants with a cheeky smile.

Liam wrinkles his nose. “Why? Why this?” He asks the ceiling. There’s no answer. No one ever answers Liam’s pleas for help. Liam is alone in the world.

“Harry likes you.” Niall blurts out between bites of chili fries.

“Yeah, I like him. That’s how best friends work. Thank you for reminding me.” Louis takes the rest of Harry’s fries. If he’s going to abandon food, Louis has to take one for the team and eat it. “I also like you, Niall. And Liam, sometimes. And I really like Zayn.”

“Harry though, he like, loves you.” Niall says. Liam fidgets with his fork.

“Why are you telling me this?” Louis sighs. He has been trying to ignore this type of conversation for a really long time. Pretending to be oblivious was the only defense he had. They’re kind of fucking that up.

“We want you guys to get together!” Liam explodes. “Please! For fuck’s sake!”

Louis laughs. And laughs. “Oh, you guys are hilarious. Alright, I’m going back to my apartment. With my best friend. To go do best friend things with him. See you all bright and late tomorrow afternoon.”

He throws a few bills on the table and laughs his way out the door. Him and Harry? Yeah right. Well, not that Louis didn’t like that idea. He loved that idea. If he could make love to an idea, it would be the idea of him and Harry together, forever, that’s how it must be...he needs to stop listening to the soundtrack to My Best Friend’s Wedding before he goes to sleep.

But he knows his limits. He knows that right now, Harry is off boundaries. Harry loves him, true, but friendship is the limit. It has to be. Louis isn’t a commitment-phobe, but he’s twenty-five years old. He doesn’t want an end-all relationship yet. And he knows if he gets in with Harry, he won’t have anyone else. He has a feeling they’d be the real deal. Louis isn’t ready for the real deal yet. And he knows Harry can’t be either. So it’s a waiting game, and Louis has accepted that. This really just fucked his plan up completely.

 

The problem is, Harry and Louis both have been single since they met. Louis has never really had to deal with the dating around thing yet. But after Harry and Sam have breakfast together, Harry becomes totally enamored and it throws Louis for a loop.

Then Sam and Harry having breakfast when the team is in town sort of becomes a thing. They both love music and children. Sam apparently sings for his keep around New Orleans during the offseason. Harry gives music lessons to small children during his off days. Sam is still rather shy, but Harry has been bringing him out of his shell more and more as the month goes on. The two of them are sickeningly adorable. Louis wishes he could hate Sam, but no one really can. He’s too sweet.

They never talk about that night when Harry walked out of the pub. Ever. Louis had come home to find Harry already asleep, and Harry had left him a warm cup of coffee and a cute little note in the morning. Life went on.

It didn’t mean Louis doesn’t think about it. He weighs his options. Interrupting what looks like Harry’s wooing of Sam would only make everyone unhappy. But watching it happen is making Louis even more unhappy. He wishes he could make Liam solve all of his problems. It looks like Liam couldn’t even solve his own, so he’s probably not the best to go off of.

He watches Ballapeno mime-flirt with Jade in the stands and wishes he were as brave as Niall in a jalapeno costume.

 

“We’re having lunch with Sam.” Harry bursts into Louis’s room one morning. “Get dressed.”

“We better be going to fucking Taco Cabana, or else I'm not moving.” Louis moans into his pillow.

Harry scoffs. “Of course we are.” When Louis doesn’t move, Harry straddles him violently. Louis wonders why this is his life.

“Get up! Aiden’s going to be there.” Harry smiles mischieviously. “I know you like him.”

Louis considered this. He did like Aiden. Aiden was cute, fun, and definitely plays for both teams. They both work at the same theatre company part of the year, the season running from August to March. Louis does PR work; Aiden’s an actor. He could date Aiden, really. He should. He can’t place why he doesn’t want to.

“Wait, you invited Aiden?” Harry makes friends with everyone. It’s a problem.

“Yeah! It can be like...I don’t know, a double date?” Harry says hopefully.

Ah. “I’m not dating Aiden.”

“Yeah, but you know. You could be after today.” Harry smiles with that purposefully innocent look on his face and Louis knows he’s going to say yes. God, he needs to get it together.

“Fine.” Louis says dramatically. “I’m only getting dressed for that quesadilla, though.”

“Wear that one pair of pants, the ones that make everyone think you’re attractive.”

Louis shoves Harry to the floor.

“Hey, that really hurt.” Harry cries. “Just for that, you’re driving.”

“Good.”

They leave about an hour later, arguing over who should shop for groceries for the next week. They both know they’ll end up going together anyway, but it was fun to see Harry fumble around for comebacks.

“Okay, so Sam doesn’t really want anyone to know he and I are…” Harry makes a vague gesture with his hands.

“Having copious amounts of passionate sex?”

Harry actually blushes at that, which leaves Louis more than pleased. “No actually, we haven’t been...uh...doing that.” Harry coughs uncomfortably. “Anyway, just keep it lowkey, alright? Like, don’t tell anyone outside our circle.”

“But Aiden can know?”

“Aiden is cool.” Harry reasons.

Aiden is cool. Louis is impressed by how cool Aiden is. He’s relaxed, easy-going, smart...Louis sometimes forgets how much he likes Aiden. While they might work at the same company, actors and PR staff don’t really hang out all that much. They talk about the next season at their theatre company and how it’s going to all work out, marketing strategies, what shows will sell. It’s all so easy.

He enjoys his quesadilla, but it’s impossible to not enjoy the food at Taco Cabana. Sam tells Louis that no other minor league announcer is even close to as interesting as him and Liam. Louis knew he liked Sam. Damn him.

“They’re mostly old men, really.” Sam says. “I think it was smart of the Missions to get younger announcers. It’s more interesting for the crowd and for us.”

“Well, as a professional taco, I must agree.” Harry says seriously. Sam laughs. Louis sort of wants to steal his laughter and bottle it up. Despite everything, Louis really does just want Harry to be happy. If he has to give his Harry to anyone else, he would gladly give him to Sam.

“Liam is really the baseball nut. All the kids he coaches for during the off season think he’s the shit because he knows the entire Missions line-up personally. He brings them to meet the players once a season. They go crazy over it.” Louis says. “I think they just hired me because I played ball in college and I’m a theatre guy, so I know how to please a crowd. Best of both worlds.”

“Louis would’ve been on the team himself if he hadn’t gotten injured in college.” Harry says to Sam. Sam seems to understand the severity of this. Louis really wishes Harry would keep some things private.

“I didn’t know that.” Aiden says. Louis feels guilty that he almost forgot Aiden was here at all.

“Well, it’s much more fun from the announcer booth.” Louis says, avoiding everyone’s gaze. This conversation really dried up fast.

“I respect you.” Sam says suddenly. “Thank you, by the way, for telling all those kids to get my autograph on opening day. I got mobbed by kids on my way out of the stadium.” He says it gratefully, as though he is blessed to have been mobbed by children after a long game. Louis cannot believe he is real. Harry looks like he can’t believe it either. Louis feels a little left out.

“Got your sights set on going major?” Louis asks. He wouldn’t be surprised. Sam is really great.

“I don’t think so. I’m getting old.” Sam laughs to himself. “I’ve always been split between baseball and music. I think it ruined my chances at either, in the end.”

“I think I can relate to that.” Louis says honestly.

There’s a small silence where Louis wishes he had met Sam in a different circumstance. He wants to be Sam’s friend more than anything. He loves the guy already. It’s just...watching Harry look at Sam like that hurts. It’s not supposed to be like this. Louis is supposed to date around and, more importantly, let Harry date around before they both settle down. Together. But watching Harry date around was more painful than originally planned. He’s pretty sure he fucked up his chances.

He eats his quesadilla and tries his best to keep up conversation with Aiden until they all have to go. He’s not dating Aiden, and he probably won’t. At least now Louis knows what he wants, even if it’s too late.

 

“You were wrong, by the way.” Louis says as they’re preparing for that night’s game.

“What?”

“About Harry. We’re not in love or anything. He’s pretty happy with Sam, actually.” Louis tries to sound as casual as possible. It doesn’t work out all that well.

“That’s...I’m sorry, Louis.” Liam sighs. “I just really thought if we gave you a push, you might be able to figure things out with him-”

“Nothing to figure out. Don’t feel sorry. It’s alright.” Louis says. He isn’t faking, he swears.

“I’m here for you.” Liam says. “Really.”

“Alright, enough of that. Nothing has even happened.” Louis rolls his eyes. “Come on. It’s fucking Corpus Christi tonight. Let’s come up with as many dumb puns as possible to make them feel stupid.”

Liam lets it go, thankfully. They spend the next hour preparing ways to make the Hooks feel as unwelcome as possible. Louis takes rivalries very seriously, especially in baseball. He even agrees to lay off Nick for the night.

“The Hooks are looking pretty Corpus Misty-eyed tonight, Liam. Think they know we’re the best in South Tex?”

“They should be the dolphins, because they’re doing pretty Poor-pus.”

“Corpus Christi? More like Corpus Hooksi. Looks like these losers are dead.”

“Someone needs to get their catcher Hooked on phonics.”

“Coach is looking Corpus Pissed-y!”

Needless to say, the crowd groans a lot that game. After getting outraced by one of Louis’s little sisters, Henry the Puffy Taco pulls Sam out again during the seventh inning stretch, which Louis pretends not to be jealous over. It’s become sort of another tradition. They even let the audience put in suggestions for what song they should dance to. This time, it’s Time of My Life. Henry the Puffy Taco knocks Sam over in an attempt to do the famous jump from Dirty Dancing. The crowd eats it up.

“Stupid. Everything is so stupid.” Louis laments.

“Trouble in paradise?”

“Really, Liam? How’s Zayn?”

Liam doesn’t mention anything ever again.

Louis wishes he could eat his words in the eighth inning. The score is tied, so the crowd is tense. They can’t lose against Corpus Christi. They have to keep their dignity in tact. The Hooks are at bat, one man on second base when it happens. He hits the ball right to the shortstop, no problem. But when Zayn rushes forward to field the ball, he collides with the Hooks player head on and practically wipes out on the field. Liam is pale next to him.

“It looks like Zayn Malik is down on the field.” Louis tries to keep casual. Injuries are normal, right? Totally normal. He turns his mic off once he sees medical out on the field.

“Hey, Liam. He’s going to be fine.” Louis says. While they don’t see him nearly enough, especially when summer rolls around, Zayn will always be considered one of their closest friends. It’s never fun seeing your friend almost get knocked unconscious.

“Yeah, it’s alright. Maybe I should go down and…” Liam trails off, looking at the field.

“No, trust me. You need to just let the athletic trainers do their thing.”

“Right, of course. I always forget you played too.”

Louis is silent at that. He sometimes forgets himself. It wasn’t that long ago, but it still hurts a little to think about. “Yeah. Look, he’s already back on his feet.”

Zayn is stumbling over to the dugout, but he’s awake. Louis really doubted that a collision like that would do irreversible damage, but worse things had happened. Plus, Liam looks about ready to cry angrily, and Louis really does not want to deal with that kind of shit right now.

“Get better Zayn!” Louis cheers. “Covering for our loverboy is going to be Jamie Scott! Give him an Alamo welcome!”

The rest of the game passes by tensely. Liam is hesitant to talk too much, as his voice is still tight and shaky. Louis really thinks he’s overreacting, but being the good friend that he is, doesn’t mention it.

“Listen,” Louis turns to Liam after the game. “I want to go with you to see Zayn, but I promised my mom I would take the girls to Gatti’s after tonight’s game. Phoebe has been begging. I can’t miss out. Zayn really is going to be fine, but you should send me updates, okay? Take him home.”

Liam nods.

“Liam.”

“What?”

Louis takes his precious face in his hands and presses his forehead against his. “It’s all going to be fine.”

Liam nods again, grateful to have someone like Louis. “Thank you, Lou. Really.”

“No problem.”

 

Liam doesn’t know how to handle Zayn. It’s not that they’re strangers, really far from it, but right now he’s being...difficult. It might just be because Liam thinks he’s beautiful.

They’re in the Missions locker room, just Liam, an athletic trainer, and Zayn. Zayn is pretty dazed, but he’s conscious. That’s what matters. Liam grips his hand in his, talking smoothly into his ear when the athletic trainer goes to get an ice pack.

“It’s not that bad, you know? You’re still hunky.”

Zayn smiles. “You think I’m hunky, Liam?”

“Uhm, well, you know...everyone does, that’s like...you know, your thing, you know, haha.” Liam stutters. Dammit, and he was being so cool. Zayn looks at him fondly.

“Thanks Liam.”

The athletic trainer comes back before Liam can respond, explaining that the ice pack is for Zayn’s black eye and he should lay low for the next week to heal his concussion. Any positive energy Zayn was giving off before absolutely evaporates at that.

“A week? Are you sure?”

“Yes. Be thankful it wasn’t worse.” She says before listing off all the precautions to take and handing him a paper that says relatively the same thing.

“Well, fuck this.” Zayn says, ripping up the paper as soon as they’re alone.

“Zayn, that’s probably not a good idea…”

“Fuck that! I didn’t even go unconscious! A week without playing? Fuck.” Zayn lets out a frustrated breath.

“Listen, Zayn, I think I should take you back to yours…Niall’s gonna watch over you.”

Zayn huffs out an agreement. This is going to be a fucking miserable week.

 

Zayn being on bedrest is hell. He has been extra broody about it, driving Niall absolutely insane at their apartment. He’s barely at home usually, but now that he can’t leave he’s taking it out on his roommate and anyone nearby. Liam is pretty terrified to go visit him, actually.

“Louis I can’t.” Liam moans over a bowl of Cheerios at Louis’s apartment. “He’s going to be mean to me and I’m going to be mean back and then we’re going to kill each other.”

“I thought that was our thing.”

“Shut up, I’m trying to moan.”

“Kinky.” Louis pours sugar into his own cereal bowl. He’s going to die an early death, most likely. “Listen, he’s probably just upset because he can’t play for a week. That sucks for him. He’s bedridden. Take advantage of this! He’s, like, never home. Did you know I actually forgot he and Niall shared an apartment until now?”

Liam huffs. “Okay. But if I go over there, you’re coming with me. I can’t face dark Zayn alone.”

“Then you can’t ever face Zayn. Seriously, Liam, do you know who that guy is? We’ve known him since elementary school. He’s a baseball playing Edgar Allen Poe, honestly.”

“Please, Louis!”

Louis rolls his eyes. “Okay, fine. But we’re bringing Harry with us and making it a boys’ day.”

 

Boys’ day turns out to be a disaster. Zayn won’t stop snapping at everyone, including Liam. Harry is trying to take it in stride, but when Zayn tells him to stop singing while he’s cooking them all lunch, he becomes a lot more subdued.

“Alright, everyone but Zayn and me, go to the kitchen.” Louis declares. “You and I are going to have a talk, pretty boy.”

Zayn rolls his eyes. “Whatever, Louis.”

“Listen, you can be as mean to me as you want. Yell at me, shove me around, snap at me, call me a fucking asshole, whatever. Leave Harry and Liam alone. They haven’t done anything. They’re just trying to help.”

Zayn sighs and plays with the blanket on his lap. “I know.”

“Why are you so angry? It can’t be all about the injury. It’s only for a week. Trust me when I say it could be worse.”

Zayn regards him seriously. “I know, I’m sorry. I just hate sitting still. And it’s easier to be mean to everyone than to be the pitiful idiot stuck on the couch.”

“You’re not a pitiful idiot. You got injured and you’re on bedrest to heal. Not a big deal, alright? Be nice. Especially to Liam. You really scared him, you know? He was terrified to come over at all today. If I didn’t come, he wouldn’t have. You know why?”

Zayn looks ashamed. “He was scared of me?”

“Fuck yeah, he was. I would’ve been too if I didn’t know how obviously fake this whole act was. Stop being a grumbling grandpa and let us take care of you for a week. You never hang out with us anymore and it’s making Liam pout. Even Niall admitted to missing you. Roommates aren’t supposed to miss each other, they’re supposed to get sick of each other.”

“How cute.” Zayn sounded indifferent, but Louis could tell he’s going to drop this douchebag act. Thank God. Louis didn’t know how much longer he could deal with the tension. Niall has been laughing nervously for an hour. “I guess I should apologize to everyone, then.”

“Fantastic idea. I can dig. Now bring it in, big boy.” Louis hugs him tightly and gives him a big fat kiss on the cheek. “We love you. I love you. You’re a San Antonio celebrity. Keep it real, Malik.” He kisses him again, just to see him get flustered. And again, and again. Frustrated Zayn is one of Louis’s favorites.

A cough at the door of the kitchen breaks them out of their bubble. Liam, Harry, and Niall are all looking at them with varying looks of discomfort.

“It’s all okay boys! Bring out the buffet and let’s eat!” Louis says to break the tension. Harry shuffles back to the kitchen with Niall to bring out the dishes while Liam stands there looking really fucking sad.

“Liam, you okay?” Louis walks over to him and waves a hand obnoxiously in his face. Liam hits it away in irritation.

“I can’t believe you.” Liam sighs. “I just, whatever. Let’s just eat and talk about it later.”

Louis really doesn’t like that tone, but he agrees just to avoid another argument. Whatever it is will have to wait, because he’s hungry as shit and Harry made the most delicious burgers in the world. Louis might be a little biased, but oh well.

“Listen, guys, I’m really sorry about being a dick. I guess I’m taking out my frustration on you guys. Again, I’m sorry.”

They all assure him it’s alright, but something feels off. Louis really doesn’t like this.

“I’m going to make an H.E.B. run later to get some wine, does anyone need anything?” Harry says as they settle around Zayn and Niall’s coffee table. Louis is sitting on Zayn’s legs, much to Liam’s discomfort. In fact, everyone besides Louis and Zayn is generally uncomfortable. It’s driving Louis crazy. But it’s okay. He can pretend to be normal, he’s good at that.

“Yeah, I would like fourteen boxes of condoms and strawberry lube.” Louis grins. Zayn is the only one to laugh, which only makes everyone look more uncomfortable. What the fuck is happening right now? “Uhm, anyway, what’s the wine for? Wining and dining Sam tonight?”

“Something like that.” Harry blushes. “It’s sort of our first official date. Sort of.”

“Really? What about all those breakfasts?” Louis asks. Nobody else seems inclined to speak.

“I don’t know. This is like, more romantic, I guess.”

“Ah, yes. You’re our resident romantic, sweeping men off their feet. Don’t overdo it, Harry. You might give him diabetes.” Louis takes a bite of his burger. Why is this the most uncomfortable meal he has ever had?

“We get it, Lou. You don’t like romance.” Liam says irritably.

“When did I even say that? What the fuck?” Louis practically throws his burger back on the plate. “Why are you two being so hostile?”

“We’ll talk about this later.” Harry says, not looking up from his plate. There’s a very long and awkward silence that follows. Zayn looks just as confused as Louis, which is comforting. At least he’s not the only one completely lost.

They eat in silence. Louis hadn’t been this uncomfortable with his friends since...well, ever. Usually they’re really great with communication. But with the way Liam is looking at him as though he betrayed him and Harry won’t look up from his food and Niall looks caught in the middle...it makes Louis sad, actually.

“Guys-”

“Leave it, Louis.” Harry snaps. It’s not like Harry uses a harsh tone, but the words alone shut Louis up fast. What the hell?

“Okay, seriously, what the hell?” Zayn finally says.

“You know, maybe we better cut this boys’ day short.” Liam gets up to leave.

“Liam, I drove you here, where are you going?” Louis all but demands. This spiraled out of control so fast.

“I’m walking.”

“You’re being pretty dramatic, don’t you think?”

“Fuck you, Louis.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Zayn sits up. “What the fuck, guys, seriously?”

Liam looks to Zayn, then back to Louis. “If you guys wanted to date, you didn’t have to do it in secret, you know?” That’s all he says before heading out the door. Everything clicks together quickly, making Louis groan in frustration.

“Seriously? Why? Why do these things happen to me? God fucking dammit, Liam!” Louis shouts at the door. Harry and Niall are both looking at anything but anyone.

“I’m going to go walk him home.” Harry flees.

“Great. Yep. Alright.” Louis looks to Niall. There’s a split second where nobody moves or breathes, then chaos. Niall tries to get up, but Louis practically leaps across the room and wrestles Niall to the ground. He sits on his chest and holds Niall’s hands above his head.

“I swear to god, Horan, tell me what the fuck just happened or I’ll tie you to a bull at the next rodeo.”

Niall learns his place pretty quickly. Also, he can’t breathe with Louis sitting on his lungs. “They think you and Zayn are fucking, or something. Because you were all kissy on the couch earlier. That’s all I know. I just wanted to hang out with the boys today, honestly.” Niall’s eyes are as wide as possible, trying to convey pure innocence. Louis is inclined to believe him, though he doesn’t want to let go just yet. He likes this sort of power.

“That’s it? That’s all? You swear?”

“That’s all I heard in the kitchen, cross my heart, hope to die, whatever.” Niall looks to Zayn helplessly. “Help.”

“Louis, get off him.” Zayn pulls Louis back by his shirt. “Why would they think we’re fucking just because Louis kissed me on the cheek? Louis kisses everyone.”

“More importantly, why would Harry be mad about it? He’s got a perfect boyfriend. I can see why Liam might-”

“Why would Liam be mad though?” Zayn asks. Niall and Louis try not to scream. Everything was so fucking complicated, but at the same time it was really simple. Louis knew exactly how to clear this all up, but he knew Liam would kill him for it. Before Louis could come up with a response, Niall blurts out, “He has a crush on Louis!”

Louis is going to fucking kill him actually.

“He what?” Now Zayn looked distraught. Louis is going to kill everyone Niall loves. He really is.

“Uhm…” Louis glares at Niall.

“Yep. Huge, massive crush. He must be heartbroken...over his giant Louis crush. Absolutely. Well, it’s been a fun boys’ day, but I’ve got to go home. There’s a lot to do. I have to clean my bathroom. Bye.” Niall walks out before anyone could remind him that they’re in his apartment.

“Well this is really fucked up.”

 

The next game is really, really awkward. Liam isn’t looking at Louis, and Louis has to explain what Niall told Zayn and...it’s just a giant fucking mess. Liam is announcing in a bland voice, he won’t banter with Louis, everyone is so unhappy it makes Louis want to cry.

“We’re not together!” Louis says for the fourteenth time during the seventh inning stretch. Henry the Puffy Taco is dancing to Come On Eileen with Sam and Ballapeno is plotting revenge. Louis can’t laugh because he’s losing it.

“You were kissing.”

“Yeah, on the cheek! I kiss everyone on the cheek! Now Zayn thinks you like me and you think I like Zayn and it’s all messed up!” Louis cries.

“I don’t like Zayn anywa-”

“Oh shut up.”

“Okay, well, even if I told him it wouldn’t matter. You might not like him, but he clearly likes you.”

“Are we actually twelve years old? Liam, listen to me. You didn’t see his face when I told him you were afraid to see him. He looked pitiful. He does not like me. Not like that. There’s no secret kisses in the garden or whatever you and Harry imagined. I was just cheering him up! I swear to God I’m never being anyone’s friend ever again.”

Liam is silent for a second. “I’ll only tell him because it might clear things up, okay? Also, you might want to think about why Harry was pissy about it as well.”

Louis throws his hands back, knocking his mic on by accident. Unfortunately, he doesn’t notice this. “For Christ’s sake, I don’t even like Harry!”

He hears his voice on the speakers and the blood absolutely drains from his face. “Are you actually joking me right now? Is this a joke? Is my life a joke right now? Shit - I mean, shoot, shoot. Sorry folks! Technical mistakes! Let’s welcome back the Springfield Cardinals and our favorite San Antonio Missions! Right folks? Alright!” He turns to Liam. “Are we even now?”

Liam nods, wide eyed, trying honestly not to laugh. “You’re really screwed.”

Henry the Puffy Taco is considerably less energetic for the rest of the game, but Louis figures he can handle that later. He focuses on making the rest of the game as fun as possible for the crowd, but he’s really wondering how everything seems to be turning against him.

Ballapeno picks up Henry the Puffy Taco’s slack by dancing with some of the kids in the stands, but the whole aura of the game is completely thrown off. The crowd was already smaller, but everyone just seems to be in a bad mood. It’s humid. It sucks.

Zayn is still out for another few days, so Louis insists that Liam go talk to him before he’s back on the road. Liam grudgingly agrees, fidgeting with his sleeves the entire ride over there.

“You know, you can thank me for driving you by cleaning the apartment.”

“I don’t even live with you.”

“You might as well. Just a wall between our homes, Payne. You’re never at yours anyway.”

Liam grumbles at that. “Harry will probably clean up before I do anyway. How about I buy you Taco Cabana?”

“You truly know the way to a man’s heart. Now go get ‘em. I’ll wait out here, alright?”

Liam nods and breathes deeply. “I’m going in.”

He fumbles with the door handle, but pretends he doesn’t. Poor, poor Liam. Louis loves to tease, but if anyone hurt his little Liam, he’d have to kill them. Really, just flat out. No one hurts Liam. Only Louis can do that.

“No matter what happens, Li, I’ll still love you. Probably.” Louis says right before Liam closes the door. The grateful smile Liam shoots him is worth the pain of saying that disgustingly sappy sentence.

 

“Uhm, Zayn? It’s Liam. Payne. Liam Payne. Uhm, you know me...uhm, I want to talk.” Liam says after he knocks on the door. He then remembers how Louis is always pushing him to be assertive. “I need to talk to you. We are going to talk!”

“Geez, Liam, calm down.” Zayn says as he unlocks the door. “What’s up?”

“I think you’re beautiful.” Liam has no idea where that comes from. Fuck. What does he do now? “I think you’re infuriating because you’re never here, and I miss you. We used to hang out all the time, remember? All of us did. You started playing with the Missions, which is amazing, but now we never see you. And when we do, it’s so dramatic. Things didn’t used to be dramatic. It used to be easy. Now you’re there, but you’re not. I see you everyday but I don’t really see you at all, you know? I just...I think you’re beautiful and I miss you. Do you know what that’s like? Missing someone who lives ten minutes away? Missing someone who you see everyday?” Liam takes a deep breath, not daring to look at Zayn. “I guess I just...well, I don’t have a crush on Louis. I know Niall told you that. I don’t. I was jealous because he was kissing you and he knows I’m sort of in love with you. Fuck, no, I’m not, pretend I didn’t say that. That’s so weird of me. Fuck. You’re just so…”

“Liam, would you like to come in?” Zayn tries his hardest not to laugh. Liam is just too adorable. It just now registers to Liam that he’s been standing in the doorway during the whole of this. He takes a deep breath in and says, “Sure.”

“Liam…” Zayn starts once their sitting. “I just want to say...ditto.”

“Ditto.” Liam says flatly.

“Yeah, like...all that? Ditto.”

“Zayn, I just laid it all bare and your response is ditto?” Liam isn’t even mad. He’s just...making sure he’s not imagining this.

“I’m not the best with like...expressing shit. Not with words anyway. I just, I miss you, too, I guess. I was pretty upset when I thought you liked Louis but if it made you happy, I wasn’t going to stop it.” Zayn shrugs. “But I think we’ve sort of cleared up that mess now. Neither of us want to fuck Louis.”

“Thank god for that.” Liam laughs nervously.

“Really.” Zayn looks down. “So, uhm, I was just…”

“Could we…”

They both laugh nervously again.

“It’s okay if you’re in love with me.” Zayn says awkwardly. “Uhm. Just because...like...me too. I’m in love with you too.”

Just like that, Liam breaks any tension and leans in to kiss him. It’s the most relieving kiss Liam has ever had. He felt like someone dumped water on him after a roll in the mud. Liam wasn’t really all that great at similes.

“I’m sort of glad I got knocked out.” Zayn says, nosing at Liam’s jawline.

“Me too.”

Meanwhile, Louis is still waiting in the car. He should’ve known this was a bad idea. They were probably going to have hot, steamy, we’ve-been-in-love-all-this-time sex and Louis is going to be here for ten years.

There’s a knock on his window about ten minutes after he comes to this realization.

“Uhm, hi?”

“Niall, my favorite man in the whole world, please get in the car.” Louis says, desperately enthusiastic.

“Why are you here?”

“Liam is talking to Zayn.”

“Fuck, thank fucking christ!” Niall looks like he’s about to cry with relief. “Everything can be solved now! Everything will be alright now! You just have to talk to Harry and-”

“Whoa, whoa, slow down.” Louis says. “Harry and I won’t be doing anything.”

“Why not? You at least owe him an apology for telling a stadium of people you don’t like him. How has this not been brought up at your apartment?”

“Harry’s avoiding it. He’s been with Sam, I think.” Louis doesn’t want to talk about. He’s not bitter, of course not. He doesn’t need a best friend anyway. He has others. He has Liam, okay? Harry can go suck a dick, or thirty, or whatever.

“Yeah, amazing, isn’t it?”

“What’s amazing?”

“Harry always stays close with his exes.”

“Uhm….exes?”

“Yeah, they broke up a few days ago. Really amicably, too.” Niall shrugs. “I think they’re both too nice to make it painful. They’re still really good friends, though.”

Of course they would be.

“Fuck. I have to go talk to him, don’t I?”

“Probably.”

“I have to, like, admit I’m in love with him or some dumb shit?”

“Sounds right to me.”

Louis peels out of the parking lot before Niall can get out of the car. Liam would have to get a ride from someone else. (Not that that would be a problem; Zayn was more than capable).

 

Harry is watching TV when Louis bursts into the room, Niall following behind awkwardly.

“I don’t like you!” Louis shouts. Niall takes that as his cue to hide in Louis’s room.

“Thank you, Louis. It wasn’t enough hearing it on the loudspeakers-”

“I don’t like you because I love you.” Louis says, falling dramatically to the floor in front of Harry. “God, Harry, really. Fuck you, though. There was a plan!”

Harry doesn’t look like he’s buying it. “What plan?”

“You and I. The plan I made in my head! We were supposed to date around until I was twenty-seven and you were twenty-five and then we could settle down together because I knew that if we dated, that would be it. But I didn’t want to lock into a relationship that young, because...I don’t know, look at me, I’m an idiot I never know what I’m doing. But then you actually started dating someone and it fucked everything up because I hated it. I was happy for you, but I was sad for me. Sam is perfect. So perfect. And what am I doing? I’m being an idiot! I love you. In a...this is it sort of way. And I didn’t want to keep you to myself.”

Harry shakes his head. “I can’t believe you. You’re so stupid.”

“I know, I’m so sorry…”

“Get off your knees.”

“Uhm…?”

Harry pulls him up and he lands clumsily on Harry’s lap. “You’re an idiot.” He kisses him deeply and Louis is pretty sure he is dead.

“What the…”

“I loved you from the start. And I’m going to romance you so hard.”

“Oh god.”

“Like, walks on the Riverwalk and if you think we’re not going to Fiesta Noche Del Rio, you’re completely wrong. And I’m going to hold your hand the whole time. And kiss you, all the time.”

"Please tell me you're going to try and make the Alamo sexy."

"Louis..." Harry says seriously. "The Alamo is always sexy."

Louis has never been more excited to be lavished.

 

After the next home game, they celebrate a victory at the Riverwalk. Zayn has finally agreed to come along with, trying to low-key hold Liam’s hand, but Liam is blushing too much to keep it a secret. Everything seems fine again, which Louis is more than okay with. He hates fighting with the squad.

Sam has been invited to their hangouts now, so sometimes he joins them. He’s expressed his happiness for Louis and Harry, and Louis has never believed someone more. Damn, Sam is just an earnest guy. Louis is kind of jealous of how good he is.

Niall is ecstatic. He won’t stop talking about how happy he is that everyone is happy. Louis could punch him.

“Now I’ll just ask Jade out and we’ll all be happy!” Niall says. Sam shifts awkwardly in his seat.

“Uhm...sorry, but Jade has a girlfriend.” Sam says apologetically. They’re all silent for a second, waiting to gage Niall’s response.

“Well, fuck it.” Niall raises a glass to a life without women. “Maybe next year. Here’s to a summer on the Riverwalk with my friends. I do love you guys.”

“Someone has a few beers in them.” Louis says, throwing an arm around Harry’s shoulders and playing with his hair. Harry preens at the attention. Niall throws an onion ring at him.

Zayn and Liam play footsie under the table the entire time, which everyone politely ignores. Louis announces that next weekend he and Harry are going on a sexy date to EZ’s, which makes everyone think they’re going to ruin a children’s restaurant before Harry explains that they’re taking Louis’s sisters with them. Louis tweeks his nipple, Harry tweeks Louis’s nose.

It’s a good start to the summer.

 

“Welcome all to tonight’s game! I’m your announcer, Louis Tomlinson-”

“And I’m also your announcer, Liam Payne-”

“-and just so you know, Harry Styles is the most handsome, beautiful man to walk this planet and I’m the one who gets to kiss him goodnight. You can all fight me in the parking lot after the game.”

“Shut up, Louis.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yep, just short and simple! Probably riddled with errors but this was seriously just for fun. And SHOUT OUT TO ANY SAN ANTONIO LARRIES!
> 
> All places mentioned are real. Especially Taco Cabana. And EZs.


End file.
